i got a feeling...im not the only one.

Dear Lord:

Thank you for this beautiful day. For the sunshine that filled my house, and allowed me to get all of my laundry done. That reminds me, I am almost out of detergent and need to put that on my list. Where did I put my list? I think I left it in the guest room when I was cleaning up which I definitely need to finish soon. Did I iron those pants while i was in there? I may have left the iron on all this time.

Wait, what was I doing? praying...get back to it Rach!

Dear Lord:

Sorry for being distracted. I just got to thinking about all of the things that you have blessed me to be able to do. I hope that I make you happy in the way that I treat my blessings. Thank you for our house. I hope that I can continue to keep a clean house when this baby comes. When is this baby coming? I have so much to do before the baby comes. Since I don't know when he is coming, I better get busy! I put everything I need to do on this one list but now I can't find it. I bet it's in the guest room.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Sometimes when people ask me to pray for them, I think...' Are you sure about that?' I have no doubt that God listens to prayer. I have no doubt that He does anything and everything He wants to do about situations. However, I doubt my ability to effectively pray to my Maker.

If Jared came home from work and had a conversation with me that was as disjointed and erratic as my 'typical' prayer above...RACHEL SMASH! would be the least of our worries!

My mind is so filled with what I have to get done that I have no brain power left to focus on what has been done FOR me!

What am I thankful for?

Who needs God's special comfort?

What do I need to be working on in my life?

How am I allowing Him to work through me?

These are questions that I should be asking before I pray so that I am focused on what I am doing.

I hear these people speak of prayer warriors. I get this image in my head of people looking somewhat like Mel Gibson in BraveHeart.

 There are those who are sounding the battle cry in the fight against Satan, against disease and against injustice through talking with our Father.

I don't see me.

I am the kind that would love to dress up as a warrior only to be distracted by how accurate my costume is, what kind of battle I will be fighting and if I'll come out with all of my limbs.

When I think of my prayer life, it may look a little like this.

 See the resemblance? (minus the martini glass of course)

Prayer is in my life somewhere and it may get done if I get far enough down on my list to check it off. It's not the focus of what I am doing. 

If I was to play the part of 'warrior' in BraveHeart, I can guarantee that my armor would be sparkling, my weapons would be sharp and I would look a treat...but I would probably be late to the battle if I showed up at all.

As I grow in my Christian walk, the hardest thing I find is to truly focus in prayer. I have started to find time to sit and go through a prayer list. To truly thank Him for the things that He has answered and sometimes thank Him for the things that He had not answered. 

So I wonder how these ladies and men I know have become prayer warriors.

You know who I am talking about...

-the ones who you want to call the moment something fabulous happens or when something not so fabulous happens.

-the ones who you know will lift your name up to God everyday and will focus their time to bring your name before Him.

 It occurred to me that these brothers and sisters have a battle cry of silence.

weird...i know.

Finding the time to be still and appreciate the privilege of coming before God, to really reflect on the thankfulness that you have towards Him. Showing Him through devotion and focus that there is nothing else you would rather do than spend time in conversation with Him. To tell Him all that is on your heart and ask for His guidance and grace...what a battle cry! By doing so, you push Satan and the many other things out of your life so that you can savor your time with God.

I truly believe that He hears our prayers better when we stop checking prayer off of our list. Instead, we must be longing to have our time with Him. We must come into His presence fully prepared to give it all we have and focus our attention. Even if we are busy and only have five minutes, make those five minutes fully devoted to God.

This next year, I hope to find ways to truly devote myself in prayer. It requires no face paint or flashy armor but it does require a meek heart and quiet spirit and that's what I long to achieve.

Not Mine To Keep

I have been thinking about Mary a lot lately.

I think we have kind of bonded.

Now before you get confused on how I could be friends with the mother of our Lord, let me assure you that I am not crazy. As you bond with any other person, you spend time learning as much as you can about them. You sometimes bond when you are going through similar things or when you know that person has been through the situation before. When you learn about that person, then you consider their life and take some positive things from their example to apply to your life.

Growing up, I always looked to Mary as an example. She kept me out of a lot of trouble. I always considered why God chose her and I had to honestly ask myself...

'If God needed someone to work through today, would He be able to choose me?'

As I have journeyed through this pregnancy, Mary has become a friend once again.

We read about the angel coming to tell Mary about the baby she would have. I am not sure if you have ever read her reaction...but it is remarkable!

My favorite excerpt is in Luke 1:46-49

⁴⁶ And Mary said:

“My soul exalts the Lord,
⁴⁷ And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.
⁴⁸ “For He has had regard for the humble state of His bondslave;
For behold, from this time on all generations will count me blessed.
⁴⁹ “For the Mighty One has done great things for me;
And holy is His name.

I felt that the Lord had been kind to me whenever I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited. I'm not trying to compare a pregnancy test to Mary's visitation of an angel...but the elation was still there! Many women feel this way when they find out they are pregnant, especially if it is something that they have been waiting, longing for and praying for.

The Bible tells us about the birth of Jesus but lately I have been thinking about the pregnancy of Mary. We often think that because Mary was the mother of our Lord, that she had special powers or gifts. While we may never know if God took it easy on her, let's imagine that she went through everything a pregnant woman goes through today.

Did she have 'Mary Smash!' moments where she got a little emotional? Did she talk to Joseph in a way that didn't always reflect grace on her part? Was it always her birth plan choice to try a 'manger' birth?

I don't know.

But I do know this.

She was pregnant with a baby.

She felt her body change as he grew.

She knew him deeply and loved him with all of her heart before she ever held him.

She felt him kick and probably was overwhelmed with joy when she thought about the awesomeness he would bring to her life.

She knew that she would do whatever it took to protect him and help him to grow.

If you have been pregnant, you know these feelings oh so well. You have 9 months to contemplate how amazing God is and how excited, nervous and ready you are for this challenge.

But when I think of Mary, possibly the most important thing I have learned from her is that she knew he was not hers to keep.

She knew that it was her job to love and nurture this child, to raise this child in such a way that He would be ready when His Father needed Him.

Was she the perfect parent? Some would say yes and some would say no. I mean...she did leave him in Jerusalem! When it comes down to the finer points though...she rocked being a mom.

It would seem that she raised him without provoking him to be angry and sin over something that she did or a reaction she had to something he did.

She loved him fiercely. So much so that when He was in His final agony, His concern was for the welfare of his mother.

She treasured moments in her heart knowing that He would not be with her forever.

She knew that her sole job as a parent was to give her child back to God.

Can I scripturally prove that all of these things went through her mind? No.

But she proves herself as a mother by what we read.

So how does this effect me and my child?

Simple. This child is not mine to keep.

I have been given the gift of being able to bring him into this world and my sole purpose as his mother is to love him, nurture him, teach him and ultimately give him back to God.

We as women beat ourselves up for a lot of reasons as moms. If our houses aren't perfect, our children aren't immaculately dressed,  and dinner is not hot on the table when our husbands walk in it seems we have failed in some way.

Not true.

Jesus didn't look down from the cross and thank his mom for his flash clothes, her housekeeping skills and her precedent that Julia Child would later follow...by making sure that she was taken care of...He thanked her for her love, joy, strength and focus that got Him ready to go back to His Father.

So Mary, once again you make me ask myself tough questions...

'Can I be what God needs me to be? Can I be a mother that understands that my children are not mine to keep? Do I understand the gravity of the job I have been given and treasure the joy that comes with it? Will I devote myself to preparing my family to spend eternity together?'

Hopefully, this doesn't seem like a mish mash of thoughts. If it does, I encourage you to spend some time bonding with Mary and see how her perspective changes you as a person and as a parent.

I want to finish with the words of a song that I love and sing quite frequently. It's by Carrie Hassler and Hard Rain and it's called 'Least that I can do'. 

If you like the lyrics, you can find the actual song here:

https://itunes.apple.com/album/carrie-hassler-and-hard-rain/id394392572

"What a wondrous thing is this

that a virgin shall conceive

as the angel spoke these words

it must've been hard to believe

though she humbled to the task

though the whispers must have stung

she counted it a privilege

and through Mary its begun"

"Its the least that I can do

for the most that you have done

and in your time of need

how could I turn and run?

for all you've given us

from the manger to the tomb

It's the least that I can do

for all that you have done"

"Standing 'neath the cross

she fixed her eyes on Him.

A multitude of memories,

surely made again.

Did she think of manger scenes?

or angel lullabies?

and from the cross He mentions her

she'll stay with Him as he dies."

"Its the least that I can do

for the most that you have done

and in your time of need

how could I turn and run?

for all you've given us

from the manger to the tomb

It's the least that I can do

for all that you have done."

As Mary stood beneath the cross and looked up at her son, surely she recognized that her journey as his earthly protector had come to an end. However, she could take comfort in knowing that she had done her best, brought glory to God and knew that she had returned her most precious gift to the One who gave it.

The Power of Parenting

I did not have the privilege to meet and get to know Mr. Gene Hibbett.

Here is what I know about him.

He loved God.

He worked hard.

He loved his wife.

He loved family fiercely.

He was excited about Heaven.

He wanted others to be excited too.

He was not afraid to tell others how he felt about them.

You may ask how I know all of this as I just told you that we never even met.

That's an easy question to answer.

I know his children.

Lee and Lynne love God. They have devoted their lives to teaching others about Christ. In the classroom, on the mission field or simply by example, they have changed lives. I know firsthand the impact that Lee has had at Freed and the difference that Lynne Moore has had in the country of New Zealand.

Lee and Lynne work hard. There is never a time that I can think of when I have seen either of them not serving someone in some way.

Lee and Lynne love their spouses. Lee married Sarah and Lynne married Kevin and while at times I am sure it's been tough, love shines out of their beings when you speak of their spouse. They are proud to be married to godly people and they are thankful for the gift of marriage.

Lee and Lynne love family just as fiercely as Mr. Gene did. If there is any question about that...look at the Facebook posts, the tributes, the updates and the prayer requests. That speaks for itself.

One thing that has touched me the most through this whole journey the family has been going through is a remark Mr. Gene made when they were waiting to find out how bad Mrs. Jackie's cancer was. He said that if it was bad...they were going to talk a lot about Heaven. What a beautiful reaction to an ugly situation. I know that Lee and Lynne and their families are excited about Heaven and they want others to be excited too.

People knew how Mr. Gene felt about them. That is the only explanation for the tremendous and foundational impact that he made in the lives of so many. They knew he was compassionate, prayerful and wise. They knew that their success meant so much to him and that gave them the encouragement and drive to accomplish their dreams.

Lee, Sarah, Lynne and Kevin have been an incredible force in my life. They have laughed with me, cried with me, encouraged me, gotten excited with me and been there during times when I don't know what I would have done without them. They are raising their children in the Lord and passing on the characteristics of Christ to future generations.

As I prepare to become a first time parent in the next few weeks, I know that I have learned about the power of parenting from Mr. Gene. To be such a one that Christ flows into the lives of those you meet and that His reigning influence is seen in your children everyday...isn't that what we are all striving for as parents?

Thank you Mr. Gene for your life, for your kindness, and for your kids.

When it rains it pours (remix)

Interestingly enough for the past few weeks, the weather in New Zealand has been quite pleasant. There are plenty of sun shiny days and there are very few days where I hang the laundry on the line and immediately it begins to rain. 

Picture it...34 weeks pregnant running through the rain with a laundry basket to grab a bajillion items that I just hung up, while our resident ducks Mork and Mindy (not sure if I have told you about naming them) watch and smirk at me as I run. One day I am sure that I will learn how short these rain bursts are and just leave my clothes to dry afterward. They kind of smell funny if I do that though. 

ANYWAY...believe it or not this post is not about weather.

For the past few months, I have thought the expression 'when it rains it pours' to myself many times. I have had to deal with frustrating situations, culture shock, pregnancy hormones, you get the idea. I am sure that you know the feeling...its almost as if once one thing starts going sideways, everything else follows suit. Now I am not going to pretend that pregnancy hormones did not aid in my feelings...because WHOA they have. Jared has invented the name 'RACHEL SMASH!' For the times when I just lose it...these moments typically end in laughter but I can't stand the way it feels to be so emo all the live long day!

I don't like feeling overwhelmed by situations of life and I know that when I am closer to God, I am better able to handle any thing that comes my way. How would He want me to look at these things in my life that seem to be pouring down? and then it came to me...

Instead of 'when it rains it pours' I need to look at my life and ask 'Who reigns when it pours?'

This question doesn't eliminate the events that cause stress and anxiety, but it does change the perspective that I have when dealing with situations.

 

I think about Job. He knew who reigned when his troubles were pouring down.

I can't seem to recall a time in my life when my family was killed, my possessions destroyed and my skin was covered in boils. Jared hasn't come home from work and told me to curse God because of what has been going on. Job's faith in who God is and what He is capable of, far outweighed anything that could overcome or overwhelm him.

What about Daniel? Who reigned when troubles poured on him?

I haven't spent the night in a lion's den because of a choice I made to follow God even though the government forbade it. Daniel did. He knew that God would protect him but he also still had to spend the night with the lions. His relationship with God was such that He had proven himself over and over. Daniel's trust in God was evident in how he handled his day to day decisions.

These Bible characters are awesome representations of how it should be in our lives. God reigns when it pours! We need Him to help us through and without Him...it just keeps on raining.

Maybe Peter is more my type though. Who reigned when Peter's troubles started their landslide?

I haven't had my close friend come to me and tell me he is going to die, I haven't gotten so angry that I cut off someone's ear and I haven't been told by my friend that I will disown him to save myself. I haven't had my friend come back from the dead and ask me if I love Him with self-sacrificing love, only to be able to feebly tell him that I like him.

Peter wasn't sure who reigned when troubles were pouring into his life. He felt that he knew himself better and was strong enough to claim Jesus, even after he was warned that he would deny Him. He  couldn't control his anger at the things that were happening around him which lead to a slicing and dicing for poor old Malchus. He felt that of anyone, he would be the strong one who would stand up and be strong for Christ. That was his whole issue...he trusted in himself. He reigned when it poured...and his rainboots just didn't cut it.

Any struggles I have endured could only be considered laughable in the light of what these guys went through. However, the principle is the same. If I look at any issue in my life through 'Who reigns when it pours?' I can see that it's not me and it doesn't need to be me.

When God reigns in my life, He will be there when it is pouring and on the sunniest of sunny days.

And that is all I need to know.

you're pregnant and you know it...

if your husband takes you on a surprise drive to see the new Wendy's being built.

and you almost cry. 

I wonder if I even need to ask for prayers on Jared's behalf or if by some sort of telepathic vibes...everyone already knows to be praying for him! ha.

The last month, I feel like I have had enough energy to cook dinner and well...that's about it. I was telling a friend of mine that I have enough energy to sort and put in a load of washing, and sit down. Then I hang it out on the line, and need to rest. My slow cooker is getting a workout so that Jared has anything at all to eat and GET THIS...anything that needs grated cheese...I have to sit down to grate it!! Tell me that's normal!

Some days, I feel like doing more! So I get Jared to drop me off at the grocery store on his way to work, then I shop and walk home. Those days are awesome. Mostly the whole walk home though I think...what if my water broke right now? What would that construction guy think?!

Here we are almost at the end of this part of the journey and some days I forget I am pregnant. I was walking home the other day and a construction worker smiled and said 'When are you due?' I was SHOCKED! and then I remembered...I actually am pregnant. I guess it is an ingrained fear that every woman has at some point in her life of people asking you when you are due and you aren't pregnant.

We have had an awesome baby shower here thrown by my amazing friend Adeline. People came from all over and I was so honored that they already love our baby that much! If you haven't seen pictures...This is a group shot.

How awesome is that?! These ladies are great.We have almost everything that we need for Baby Kyle. I can't wait to tell you his name! We are waiting until he is born to reveal...so just a few more weeks.

This little dude moves all the time. It is awesomeness magnified. Even at three a.m. when I turn over and he kicks me...I smile.

Speaking of sleep, a lot of moms I have talked to say that they have a hard time sleeping...not I!

I do have vivid dreams though. For example, I woke up one morning and Jared said 'Did you sleep well?' I replied with 'Yes, I'll have the crispy fried shrimp!' I thought i was ordering at Long John Silvers. haha.

These dreams are sometimes so real I don't know if I am supposed to be angry about them or not. I woke up the other day CONVINCED Jared had eaten my hairbrush. I couldn't decide how he did it and if I was supposed to be mad about it or not. He is having sympathy dreams too...Last night he woke up and said 'WITNESS PROTECTION!' and then fell soundly back to sleep.

When I asked him super seriously if he ate my hairbrush...he said 'Yes. Yes I did. Are you joking?!' Then I figured out it was just a dream. :)

At 34 weeks, Jared has sailed through this pregnancy. He has been such a good friend, husband, listener and laugh provider. He is so excited to see the baby move and to meet his little mountain biking buddy.

I am going to try to write smaller updates more often. Especially when the baby gets here. I think I might be a picture overloader but I probably won't apologize. :) 6 weeks!

holibirthiversaryference

Today is Tuesday.

Since last Wednesday we have been celebrating all kinds of things.

We left Wednesday morning after my appointment with my midwife (in which the baby decided to harass the doppler monitor with judo kicks and jabs worthy of Jackie Chan).

For the next few days, we were going to be in Pukekohe (suburb of Auckland) for Jared's International Dental Conference.

During the time there, we were going to hang out with some friends of ours, Emma was coming in from Australia, Jared was having a birthday and we were celebrating for our one year anniversary.

The drive down was nice weather. As always, I have to fall asleep when we are almost to Taupo because if I don't the curves make me rather sick. I woke up when I smelled sulfur.

We were driving down the desert road and in the distance we could see Mt. Ruapehu.

And while this picture is nice, it was actually covered with a lot of fog and I couldn't see the whole thing. I assumed the sulfur smell was coming from the recently erupted Mt. Tongariro which neighbors Ruapehu.

 http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/image.cfm?c_id=3&gal_objectid=10825644&gallery_id=127293#9449577

As we drove closer to Taupo, we could see skydivers in the sky. I casually mentioned to Jared that one of them looked as if he was going down way too fast. I didn't think anything about it until I read the news a few days later...

http://www.stuff.co.nz/nelson-mail/news/7510725/Crash-festivals-only-setback

No, we didn't see this happen. I thought we did when the preliminary reports came out talking about a Taupo sky diver...and yes he was from there, but the accident occurred at a festival in the South Island. Still it made me realize it is something I would never do.

We stopped in Hamilton (also known as Hamiltron) and had a nice dinner at Furnace and then stretched our legs walking up the main streets.

When we finally got to Pukekohe (after many rounds of name that tune and ABC name that movie games) Shane, Christi and Evan gave us an extremely warm welcome. We stayed up chatting for a while and then headed to bed. Jared had to get up early the next morning to drive into the city for his conference and Shane had to get up for work.

Thursday, Christi and Evan and I hung out. We went to a few shops in town (one of which was called Dog's Breakfast Trading Company and I found some amazing things). We got back home for lunch and then took Evan to Kindy. Teachers in the States would be amazed at this place. There are construction areas where the kids use real tools, a house set up exactly like a real house, a nature center with a light table where the kids can look at pictures of animal xrays, there is a recycling center and they use recycled materials in all of their art projects. It was quite a sight to behold!

While Evan went to Kindy, Christi and I went for a coffee at Monarch Cafe. I got a hot chocolate and thought 'You know what? This probably isn't enough chocolate...I think I will have a hot fudge sundae.' So I did. It was fabulous. We went from there to the grocery store. We kept laughing at all of the things we kept forgetting. When you get two pregnant ladies together...expect that to happen. We came out of the Mad Butcher (excellent meat shop) and it was time to pick Evan up.

We went back to their house and relaxed. Christi made tacos for dinner and then we left the boys to themselves while we went to her Playcentre group. Christi is extremely involved and she is the Ed Officer at this specific playgroup. Moms and Grandmas that bring their kids to playcentre, are required to keep up their education. Christi makes sure that all of this happens, and she is a champ.

Around 9:45 we got home and took a nap before we left to go get Emma from the airport. Her flight got in around midnight (which she paid for by doing chores later on..lol) It was so good to see her. She bent down and talked to my belly in the middle of the arrivals crowds! ha. You would think it would be embarrassing, but I thought it was awesome that our little boy is going to have such a loving aunt.

Friday morning, we got up and headed into the city. Christi wanted to take me to the American store and boy was I excited about that!

When I walked in...there were shelves of Bath and Body Works products, Pop Tarts, Goldfish, Hershey's Kisses, Candy Corn, Bobs Candy Canes, Cheez-Its, Graham Crackers, Reese's, AND DILL PICKLES!!! (Yes I listed all of these things just in case you ever want to send me something. lol.)

A gallon jar of dill pickles was $26 and a Sams Club size box of graham crackers was $24. A party size bag of M&Ms that sells at walmart for $9 was $32.50. I almost had a stroke.

I ended up buying things that would last and be needed around the holidays. I found a few graham cracker crusts (praise Keebler elves!), I bought around 30 hershey's kisses for $5.50, and I purchased some other things that would get us through until our next trip up. Don't judge on the hershey's kisses until you have the prospect of a Christmas without them. Ha!

I think it was a very successful trip!

We ate at Nando's, a fantastic chicken place and shopped around a mall in town there. Shane was already home and Jared was headed that way, so we headed home too.

Saturday, Jared still had to go to his conference, but the rest of us were ready to party. We were going into the city that night to celebrate Jared's birthday so we spent the day cruising.

All I wanted for Christmas this year was a good quality, beautiful tree. Most families here do a real tree, but seeing as my eyes tend to swell shut at the presence of pine...we are going artificial. I had been looking online and a good quality tree costs around $700-$1100. That was not happening.

I got on TradeMe Auckland to see what was available and lo and behold, there was the tree I wanted at the price I wanted (better than I could have dreamed) and it was just down the road from Shane and Christi's. It filled up the whole back seat...but it is home. I was so tempted to put it up when we got home but I just checked to make sure it has all of the pieces and then put it back. A lady had imported it from Germany and was moving back so she was selling it. I think it was meant to be.

Yes...it is beautiful and hopefully will last us a LONG time...

Amid Christmas tree buying WAY ahead of time, we took Evan up to Waiuku beach to test drive his four wheeler. We stopped at a bakery in Waiuku and got pies and slice for lunch. We headed out to the beach and surprisingly had a lot of company. Evan did SO well and he was so proud of himself...we were proud of him too.

We packed up and headed home to get ready to go to the city. There is a place called Mexican Cafe'. It looks totally sketch from the outside but it was MARVELOUS...and they gave us free chips and salsa!

Sunday we headed to worship with the South Auckland congregation. We heard a great lesson by Trevor Majors and then shared in a fellowship lunch where they had banana pudding!! Afterwards, we parted ways with Shane and Christi. Jared, Emma and I went to visit their 97 year old grandmother who lives in Blockhouse Bay in Auckland. She still drives, and is quite the fire cracker.

Afterwards, we dropped Emma at her friends apartment and headed into the city. Jared had planned a surprise for me (which I may have ruined because I found out). We were going to stay at the Langham Hotel for our anniversary date!

It was super flash and I loved it. We walked down Queen Street which is the main street of Auckland and down to the harbor. There were several restaurants that caught our eye, but we decided just to eat from a place in the hotel when we got back.

The next morning, we were treated to a ginormous breakfast buffet where they make everything for you as you order it. I got our money's worth. lol.

As we were going to get our bags after breakfast, I saw a police officer speaking to a staff member. I am nosy and can hear like a bat when I need to. I heard him say 'We are looking for someone specific, he is wearing an orange shirt and enjoying a coffee.'

I spotted a guy in an orange shirt sitting in the corner across the room. The police officer was heading the other way so I assumed he had already seen this man. As we came down to check out...he was sitting beside the man I had spotted previously.

I was so excited that I was such a good detective!

As we left, this man and a woman that was with him were being escorted to the police car. I have a vivid imagination so I was thinking that maybe he was a jewel thief, or a spy...did he check in with an alias? I get a little out of control sometimes. Let me mention this...if you are trying to blend in...don't wear orange.

We left and headed home. After stopping to pick up the Christmas tree, eat sushi and stare at Lake Taupo...we finally made it home.

This is long. I apologize. However, when you combine Holiday (vacation), Birthday, Anniversary and a Conference together...you have a lot to talk about.

This past week was the best holibirthiversaryference I have ever had!

o wrong o wrong o :)

Picture it.

It's pitch black dark.

I'm four months pregnant and haven't gotten more than 6 hours sleep in 24 hours (which isn't good for my emotions. lol)

I have a head lamp on my head.

I am wearing amazing wool socks with my Timberland boots which I have had since ninth grade. These boots had not been around anything more rugged than boot cut jeans since my parents bought them.

I have a mountain climber's pack on my back full of sleeping bags and baked beans and I am ready to go.

Jared and I begin our trek into the Rimataka Mountains to Jared's family hut in the Orongorongo River Valley.

Many thoughts were going through my head. We had to park outside the park gates because they closed at 6 pm. As we walked the extra 2 km from the gate to the beginning of the trail, I thought...this kind of seems like the beginning of a news story that begins "An abandoned car was found outside the park gates and the passengers are believed to be lost in the mountains."

I laughed to myself...but then I...didn't.

This trip was one that Jared had been patiently waiting to take. We had wanted to go for a while but didn't have access to the keys or a free weekend to spend in the mountains. We knew that if we waited any longer, I would be too pregnant. I wouldn't be able to go for a while after the baby was born (at least until they are 5) and wanted to see what it was like before I took a child out there.

I say that to say that the following account was totally my choice. I am not crazy for going while pregnant...and there was no harm to my baby. I even checked it out with my medical people before going.

We walked in and saw many possums staring at us through the trees. Usually, I would never go into the woods at night but in New Zealand, there is nothing that will get you. I was so tired that I frequently asked to stop and rest. I didn't know how far we were from the hut or how long it was going to take to get there and the lack of rest mentioned before was starting to get to me about 45 minutes in. Being in the dark was a little disorienting and I wasn't expecting that. My favorite part of being in nature is being able to see nature. haha. It was interesting.

Towards the end of the trail, (after an emotional breakdown comparing the trail to labor and thinking I wasn't going to make it), we descended Jacob's Ladder. It is a zig zag descent to the river which must be crossed to get to the hut.

At this point, its gotten quite cold but after crossing the river, my fabulous wool socks warm up quickly even though they were wet. We were walking through the river valley so we had to cross several times where the shoal ended and went into the bank.

We headed for a slight V shape in the shadow of the river valley where we would head up to the hut.

At this point, we had been walking for three hours...we had crossed the river 5 times and we reach a bank where Jared says 'Ok...the hut is right up here.' I look up and see a bank that has to be climbed from the river to get to the hut.

Furious was not the appropriate word.

I got it together (not without complaining unfortunately) and hauled my pregnant self up the bank. Jared and I had switched flashlights so he could find the hut and on the way up the bank, I dropped mine. Jared ran down to get it and after convincing me not to spend the night right where I was, we got up to the hut.

We opened the shelters on the windows, Jared started a fire in the stove and I crawled into my sleeping bag and went to sleep instantly.

I don't remember anything until 8 a.m. the next morning when the sun was shining in the window and Jared had fixed me breakfast. He hands me a plate of baked beans and a toasted crumpet. It was the best thing I had ever eaten.

This is what I saw when I woke up :)

 It was gorgeous (even though the window was cloudy) and it made my day. After getting sleep, I really enjoyed myself!

 Leaving the hut. I had a million layers on and I am pregnant so I make no more excuses for looking pudgy. haha.

 We made it! Trauma really does bring you together! Ha. I want you to know two things...Jared Kyle is amazingly patient and I need sleep to be a nice person these days.

 Views down the river valley from the hut. This is before going down the goat track (cut by goats) to get off the cliff. This is the river valley we had walked down coming in the night before.

 If you look up in the trees you can see a solar panel. That is where the hut is. Through the trees is where we climbed to get there.

 Crossing the river last the night before means crossing the river first the next day and continuing the trail with wet feet. Again, thank the Lord for my wool socks! Descending Jacob's ladder last means ascending it first. One of the funniest things was when we crossed the bridge before Jacob's ladder and we saw a plaque we missed the night before. It said 'This plaque is dedicated to all of those who have died in the Orongorongo River Valley'. NOW you tell me. hahahaha.

 Beauty on the trail back.

Jared went ahead to get the car at the gate and pick me up at the beginning of the trail. Almost off the trail, these bulky guys with shirts that said 'Wellington Search and Rescue' come bounding in and I laughed to myself and thought 'Here I am boys. You're late! Where were you last night?!?!'

Finished the trail!

There is nothing particularly amusing about this post but it is honest. I was a pain. Jared had every reason to tell me I was never allowed to come back...and he didn't. I agreed that the hut was lovely and I would come back with our kids. I am actually really looking forward to it after the whole thing was said and done. BUT I vowed to never again go while pregnant and never walk in again at night.

The trip definitely brought Jared and I closer. I know I can trust him to make sure I am okay. Even when I make dumb choices or complain like a teenager.

The title of this post is how you pronounce then name of the river valley but it also represents my preconceived notions of how tough I thought I was and how much I thought my boundaries could be pushed these days. :)

We finished the trip with the traditional fish and chips and added a new tradition...

a wendy's frosty. :)

stunned mullet.

I got a haircut in a new country.

She said she had worked there for three years.

After she chop sueyed my hair, she said her haircuts were half-price because she was in her third year of training.

I had a mullet.

I hope that is the one and only time I have to get two haircuts in one day, even if I pay full price.

poppies

At exactly 6 a.m. we couldn't help but look up as two helicopters loudly passed overhead. It was early and very cold but droves of people walked silently to the cenotaph standing tall against the still blackened sky.

Getting as close as we could, the ceremony began.

We were welcomed by a woman minister from one of the local evangelical churches. Her strong accent and even tone made the solemn words that she spoke hang in the air waiting to be understood by those who have never made the kinds of sacrifices she described. 

Men of age mostly, who got up that morning and relived memories as they dressed in their black and red, were sprinkled throughout the crowd. Their heads held high except for an occasional dip to dry their eyes with a handkerchief.

The call came for a song to be sung. The one chosen is one of my favorites 'Eternal Father, Strong to Save'. In the stillness of the morning, it is quite a haunting melody.

One thing that was so comforting to me was hearing the presenters speak of God, pray to God and sing of God's saving grace that protects this land. It made me feel a little more at home and I enjoyed the fact that I could observe something that has been a favorite of my husband's for many years.

After asking wreaths to be placed on the cenotaph by various branches of service (including those who fought in the Vietnam war), the national anthem was sung. As my patriotic self, I felt the need to burst into song due to fact that I love New Zealand so very much. However, I refrained and listened to the crowd.

Jared bent down and said 'guns'. I was thankful for that warning as I was not tall enough to see that a gun salute was about to begin and would have dishonorably shrieked had I been taken by surprise.

As they dismissed us in prayer, the sun began to rise to our left and the dawn parade began down the main streets. Many people wore poppy lapel pins that they bought to support the RSA or Returned Services Association. My lovely husband bought one for both of us. :) 

After the service ended, many strolled to the cenotaph to place their poppies in honor of those lost.

We returned home and prepared for our crazy day ahead.

We grabbed a quick muffin and coffee at the Coffee House and headed to Wellington around 8:30. Because it was Jared's baptism birthday, it was his day to do whatever he wanted to do. We really enjoyed the trip down. My favorite part being a moment in time when you come around the corner and all you see is waves breaking against the rocks and a vast body of water. I love that!

We made our way to downtown Reading Cinemas to watch 'The Avengers' in 3D. AMAZING...I really liked it although it was much longer than we had planned for. Immediately afterward, we rushed to the Wellington Church building for a surprise party honoring one of our dearest friends, Mery Arulandu.

She was very surprised! It was a great day spent with friends and church family. We got to catch up and just enjoyed the company of everyone. After the party about 3 o'clock, Jared and I went downtown to explore. Jared and I had both wanted to see 'The Beehive' or the Parliament building up close. Being ANZAC day, it was super cool.

There were some statues that we of course had to emulate, even though Jared's was admittedly more ceremonial than mine.

As we turned the corner, we discovered the memorial dedicated to the RSA and the members of the Armed Forces.

Yeah...I teared up. Don't judge. lol.

After a really special and fun day, we headed back to Palmerston North. On the way home...

You know it. The perfect end to the perfect day. Frank's first ANZAC day was one to remember. :)

frosty.

If there is any one that has not given up on me and my blogging...I appreciate it.

Over the past two weeks I have had struggles with e coli, infections and a virus that made me wish for morning sickness only. I assumed that you would not want a daily update on that apart from the fact that I didn't move for three days. :)

My in-laws came this weekend and I never once saw them because I was asleep. Seriously? yep.

BUT I am feeling better and I am on the rise!!!

Other than that; Jared has been having to cook, do laundry, save people's teeth and make late(ish) night runs to the store for ginger beer (ginger ale). I am a little addicted to it because it makes me human again...but no worries...it's not alcoholic.

Before the sickness set in and in between doozy days, Jared took me to a Philipino cooking class at the Museum in town. It was really cool. We also went to a import store and found some interesting things. Pickled mud fish, fried grasshoppers...not something I would ever crave.

Pictures will come at some point soon.

The pregnancy dreams have been hilarious and crazy. Stung in the face by yellow jackets, being a character in the 'Walking Dead' and trying but failing to sneak into Makin' Music without being caught; fighting with a girl over a Frosty...yeah...that may have been real. jk.

I have wanted a Frosty from Wendy's for a long time. The closest Wendy's is a little more than an hour away. Last time we went to Wellington in mid March, we didn't end up going and so the craving has been incessant. I think it's just me and I blame it on Frank. haha. 

I emailed the company and told them, 'I just moved from America, I am expecting a baby and I am craving Wendy's. You must open a store in Palmerston North. Please!' haha.

I received an email from the company saying that they are opening a store in Palmerston North this year!!! I replied with...'I LOVE YOU!'

Is that inappropriate? hahaha.

Tomorrow is ANZAC day. ANZAC stands for Australia New Zealand Army Corps day. It is similar to our Veteran's Day. Jared and I are going to be at the square at 5:30 a.m. for the dawn parade. This day is incredibly special to Jared because he was baptized on ANZAC day. It also honors his grandfather who died in the battle of Gallipolli.

This is the national anthem of New Zealand in Maori and in English. It's quite haunting at the beginning...i love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF5xhKbAGSI

After the parade, we are heading to Wellington to celebrate his baptism birthday. We are going to watch 'The Avengers' which we have been eagerly anticipating and guess what's on the way? Wendy's!

It's a holiday and everything usually closes. Don't worry...I called ahead to make sure they were open. I am just trying to save Frank from the disappointment. haha.

In short, my life is sadly focused on chocolate soft serve. I will be quiet about Frosty's after tomorrow. Bear with me. :)

dream craving.

Jared rolled over to turn off his alarm and said "I don't want to get up." I drowsily responded with, "I want Wendy's!!"

Last night I was awakened by Jared. Apparently, I had been exhibiting symptoms of a nightmare. The ones I have had previously are pretty vivid. This one I had gone to get Chinese food and when I got there, I couldn't stand the smell. THEN I SAW IT...

A cinnamon empenada. It was gorgeous.

Much prettier than this one. :)

I sat in the line holding my nose and waiting for that empenada. When I got to the front of the line, the worker kept talking to me about a disease he got in Turkey and I said (very nasaly because I was still holding my nose)..."Look, I'm here for that empenada, but to pay your medical bills, throw in some sweet and sour chicken. Make it quick." Luckily, I got the LAST empenada.

I walked out to my car in the raining dark and as I got in, a stranger got in beside me and started taking pictures...due to the flash, I DROPPED THE EMPENADA.

At that point Jared woke me up. I was so mad about the empenada.

All you need to know I guess is that the second I step back into the States, I will be looking for Wendy's, McDonald's sausage biscuits, pinto beans and chow chow, crispy bacon, dill pickles AND a cinnamon empenada so WATCH OUT!!!

frankly...

Well if you haven't already heard...we're having a baby!!!

WOOHOO!!! We are totally surprised, super excited and ready to see how this goes for us.

It has been part of the reason that I have been so absent from blogging. I didn't know what else to say when I was trying to keep the secret.

By the way, I am terrible at keeping secrets. It seemed like every day Jared would come home and I would confess that I let it slip to someone else.

Jared had his Christmas presents 15 minutes after I got them in the mail. IN NOVEMBER!

At least I don't pretend to be good at it. Let me say this...if the secret is incredibly personal or someone else's business...no issue. I can keep those. It's just the ones that I am excited about!!

The most interesting part about finding out we are pregnant is finding out how the system works here.

There is only one prenatal ultrasound unless you pay the big bucks for them. You do not have an obstetrician unless you want to pay the big bucks for it.

Knowing that, my question is...okay...who delivers babies around this joint?!?!

Midwives. Sometimes midwives in the States are looked at as 'hippy' or 'alternative'. Here, they are the norm and are more medical than what I have heard from the stereotypes in the States. The one we chose is absolutely fantastic. She is from England and answers all of my anxious questions with ease and understanding. Love her!!!

Jared calls the baby Frank. In that case, let's hope its a boy. Even though we probably won't name it Frank, the explanation to a boy would be easier than an explanation of 'Frank' to a girl. :)

The best part is watching Jared tell people. When he told my parents, my dad danced and my mom cried and Jared chuckled. When he told Emma, she started crying...er...sobbing in the middle of the mall with people giving her very concerned looks. The picture I have in my head is priceless.

When he told his parents, we got mowed down by hugs. At least I could explain to his mom why I had been so sick when she was here and didn't take any medicine. I knew she had to be starting to worry about me.

At some point, I am hoping to put a video montage of the people we videoed when we told them. It's HILARIOUS.

Just writing to say...thanks for all of the wonderful comments and congratulations. I am so blessed and this baby is already so loved. I will be back to the blog consistently now...hopefully...probably.

I better be, because once this baby comes...it's probably not going to happen much!!

hasta la vista...

Jared made me watch Terminator Two...

and it scared me. :)

Did you know that James Cameron got the idea for Terminator when he had a dream about a machine like man coming out of a raging fire. freaky. I wonder if he had pickles or something before he went to sleep that night.

I promise that the Terminator is not the reason I have been absent from the blogosphere.

My mother in law has been staying with us while my father in law is in the Solomon Islands on a mission trip. He has had great success in that effort and feel free to keep that in your prayers.

I think I am going to update you by showing you pictures. I am going to post pictures of the house soon because it is finally finished, however with company and being out of town...i have to get it back in order before I snap photos and put them in cyber land.

Two weeks ago, Jared and I decided to go to the Farmer's Market that takes place weekly up the road. I thought I knew what to expect until I saw Purple Cauliflower, whole fish and very few people that spoke English. The vegetables were beautiful and the prices were even more beautiful. :) Grapes are usually $9.99 a kg and they had them for $3.99 a kg...i do believe I'll take that!!

There was a little old man with a beret playing his accordion while everyone was bustling around making a deal. He was so nice looking...until after I took this photo.

 

I had a hankering for something that tasted familiar. I made some buttermilk biscuits from scratch and we had breakfast for dinner Saturday night. Don't judge me...I just had biscuits. :)

I love the fact that people here play music all of the time. When you are around the square, you hear people playing and singing. At first, I would think people were yelling...and then I realize they are singing. A little boy in Wellington was playing the violin and was incredible!!! The last time I heard music on the square it was these young men who played a song that I loved. Listen to this...

                                                                  Love it my friends.

This weekend Jared had a conference in Wellington. He's ridden the train before (which I am jealous of) but since the conference lasted all weekend, we made a trip of it. We have great friends in Wellington. This time we stayed with Carl and Adeline. They are always so welcoming and we always have such a good time with them.

Friday morning we headed down. We got there around lunch time and stopped into Heavens pizza on Cuba Street. We ordered the Kiwi pizza. This was a pizza that had bacon, egg and cheese.

 In a word.. it was...interesting. Definitely not something that I would try again. Walking down Cuba Street and window shopping a bit, and it was time for Jared to walk to his conference.

This was my cue to head to Te Papa. Te Papa means 'our place' and is the National Museum of New Zealand.

I had about 4 and a half hours here and I needed every moment of it. The museum is free but there is a charge for an exhibit called 'Unveiled: Wedding Fashion throughout the Centuries'. The exhibit is on loan from the Royal Museum of London but I didn't make it that far.

As I sat at a cafe taking a break, I was joined by an American girl and a Frenchman at the counter. They were obviously on a date. Their conversation included the fact that she was depressed that New Zealand didn't actually have hobbits and that his religion revolved around the five demon days (which I know to be Ancient Egyptian in origin...thanks history teaching job). Random.

My favorite part of the conversation was this. When she continued talking about there being no hobbits, he said in a thick French accent, 'Well, at least there are a lot of sheeps!' And she said...'Yeah! Ships are nice!'

I almost fell off of my bar stool. I even pretended to look at a book on fashion while listening. Judge me if you will.

At Te Papa, there are many exhibits on the islands and geographical make up of New Zealand. Due to the Christchurch quakes and other quakes they have had before, they have an entire area devoted to earthquakes.

I experienced my first earthquake the other night. I was lying on the couch and it felt like Jared was behind the couch, shaking it as hard as he could. Nothing fell and it was over in a matter of seconds, but it was eerie none the less. So as I entered into this exhibit...I was a tad afraid.

They should have added 'the earth quake experience is when the exhibit you are in starts shaking and can be distressing.'

For example. I was sitting down while taking this video. The tv is a fixed object in the room. The shaking is real and symbolizes the way an earthquake in 1987 shook a New Zealand town. The light flash in the corner is from me trying catch myself and keep from falling off the seat. Enjoy!

We spent Saturday and Sunday with the church and going to Porirua services. Between services, Jared took me out to see where he grew up. There is a man renting his parents house that they still own and he works on the Lord of the Rings. He was quite short but I don't think I found a hobbit. :)

There was also a little boy playing outside at the other house Jared used to live in. Jared got to talk to him for a bit and tell him that he used to live there when he was a boy. That was really cool. We drove around Scorching Bay and up the Oriental Parade...it was beautiful. They say that 'You can't beat Wellington on a sunny day'. We had fun but we were glad to be home!!

I hope that you have had a great few weeks! Thanks for reading my blog...even though sometimes it's a little time in between posts!