Not Mine To Keep

I have been thinking about Mary a lot lately.

I think we have kind of bonded.

Now before you get confused on how I could be friends with the mother of our Lord, let me assure you that I am not crazy. As you bond with any other person, you spend time learning as much as you can about them. You sometimes bond when you are going through similar things or when you know that person has been through the situation before. When you learn about that person, then you consider their life and take some positive things from their example to apply to your life.

Growing up, I always looked to Mary as an example. She kept me out of a lot of trouble. I always considered why God chose her and I had to honestly ask myself...

'If God needed someone to work through today, would He be able to choose me?'

As I have journeyed through this pregnancy, Mary has become a friend once again.

We read about the angel coming to tell Mary about the baby she would have. I am not sure if you have ever read her reaction...but it is remarkable!

My favorite excerpt is in Luke 1:46-49

⁴⁶ And Mary said:

“My soul exalts the Lord,
⁴⁷ And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.
⁴⁸ “For He has had regard for the humble state of His bondslave;
For behold, from this time on all generations will count me blessed.
⁴⁹ “For the Mighty One has done great things for me;
And holy is His name.

I felt that the Lord had been kind to me whenever I found out I was pregnant. I was so excited. I'm not trying to compare a pregnancy test to Mary's visitation of an angel...but the elation was still there! Many women feel this way when they find out they are pregnant, especially if it is something that they have been waiting, longing for and praying for.

The Bible tells us about the birth of Jesus but lately I have been thinking about the pregnancy of Mary. We often think that because Mary was the mother of our Lord, that she had special powers or gifts. While we may never know if God took it easy on her, let's imagine that she went through everything a pregnant woman goes through today.

Did she have 'Mary Smash!' moments where she got a little emotional? Did she talk to Joseph in a way that didn't always reflect grace on her part? Was it always her birth plan choice to try a 'manger' birth?

I don't know.

But I do know this.

She was pregnant with a baby.

She felt her body change as he grew.

She knew him deeply and loved him with all of her heart before she ever held him.

She felt him kick and probably was overwhelmed with joy when she thought about the awesomeness he would bring to her life.

She knew that she would do whatever it took to protect him and help him to grow.

If you have been pregnant, you know these feelings oh so well. You have 9 months to contemplate how amazing God is and how excited, nervous and ready you are for this challenge.

But when I think of Mary, possibly the most important thing I have learned from her is that she knew he was not hers to keep.

She knew that it was her job to love and nurture this child, to raise this child in such a way that He would be ready when His Father needed Him.

Was she the perfect parent? Some would say yes and some would say no. I mean...she did leave him in Jerusalem! When it comes down to the finer points though...she rocked being a mom.

It would seem that she raised him without provoking him to be angry and sin over something that she did or a reaction she had to something he did.

She loved him fiercely. So much so that when He was in His final agony, His concern was for the welfare of his mother.

She treasured moments in her heart knowing that He would not be with her forever.

She knew that her sole job as a parent was to give her child back to God.

Can I scripturally prove that all of these things went through her mind? No.

But she proves herself as a mother by what we read.

So how does this effect me and my child?

Simple. This child is not mine to keep.

I have been given the gift of being able to bring him into this world and my sole purpose as his mother is to love him, nurture him, teach him and ultimately give him back to God.

We as women beat ourselves up for a lot of reasons as moms. If our houses aren't perfect, our children aren't immaculately dressed,  and dinner is not hot on the table when our husbands walk in it seems we have failed in some way.

Not true.

Jesus didn't look down from the cross and thank his mom for his flash clothes, her housekeeping skills and her precedent that Julia Child would later follow...by making sure that she was taken care of...He thanked her for her love, joy, strength and focus that got Him ready to go back to His Father.

So Mary, once again you make me ask myself tough questions...

'Can I be what God needs me to be? Can I be a mother that understands that my children are not mine to keep? Do I understand the gravity of the job I have been given and treasure the joy that comes with it? Will I devote myself to preparing my family to spend eternity together?'

Hopefully, this doesn't seem like a mish mash of thoughts. If it does, I encourage you to spend some time bonding with Mary and see how her perspective changes you as a person and as a parent.

I want to finish with the words of a song that I love and sing quite frequently. It's by Carrie Hassler and Hard Rain and it's called 'Least that I can do'. 

If you like the lyrics, you can find the actual song here:

https://itunes.apple.com/album/carrie-hassler-and-hard-rain/id394392572

"What a wondrous thing is this

that a virgin shall conceive

as the angel spoke these words

it must've been hard to believe

though she humbled to the task

though the whispers must have stung

she counted it a privilege

and through Mary its begun"

"Its the least that I can do

for the most that you have done

and in your time of need

how could I turn and run?

for all you've given us

from the manger to the tomb

It's the least that I can do

for all that you have done"

"Standing 'neath the cross

she fixed her eyes on Him.

A multitude of memories,

surely made again.

Did she think of manger scenes?

or angel lullabies?

and from the cross He mentions her

she'll stay with Him as he dies."

"Its the least that I can do

for the most that you have done

and in your time of need

how could I turn and run?

for all you've given us

from the manger to the tomb

It's the least that I can do

for all that you have done."

As Mary stood beneath the cross and looked up at her son, surely she recognized that her journey as his earthly protector had come to an end. However, she could take comfort in knowing that she had done her best, brought glory to God and knew that she had returned her most precious gift to the One who gave it.