Be Mine

Roses are red.

Bacon is red.

Poems are hard.

Bacon.

This is the short little love text that I sent to start Valentine's day off on the right foot. :)

I was excited about Valentine's Day because we had no plans. We had already eaten our chocolate from my parents as soon as it arrived last week and I was expecting no gift since he covered every occasion for the next twenty years by buying me a new car! (I say that, he doesn't).

Brennan and I had both been feeling pretty stink and as I type this, I haven't slept much in 3 days because he coughs and it wakes him up and then he can't breathe well enough to sleep solidly. I knew I was going to make dinner as usual, but hadn't gotten around to being very festive.

I decided to get it together and make it super fun. Brennan and I made a card for Jared. I thought it would be fun to trace his hand as his signature on the card...he's three months old...near impossible to do on your own, but I did it! :)

I put on Jared's favorite dress for me to wear and put Brennan in a tie. He was so cute, I couldn't wait until Jared saw him!

 Jared came home to a dinner of baked dill salmon, green beans and carrots. We have been trying to do lots of veggies and lots of meat. Steak more than once a month? I can do that! We sat and chatted for a while after dinner and then decided to go for a walk. Jared wanted to be held accountable for exercising until we go to the States in May. He agreed that if he didn't exercise for 30 minutes every day, then I get to go home for Christmas. Needless to say, I try not to remind him too often that he needs to go but I do want him to accomplish his goal. Consider me his blackmailer. :)

We headed down to the lagoon to watch the ducks. When we got there, there was a group playing water polo in kayaks. It looked like so much fun!!

 Brennan was clearly thrilled.

Enjoying my valentines at sunset. (Pardon the wind blown look)

After walking home, we settled in to catch up on Walking Dead. I don't want Brennan to hear those scary noises so once he was asleep, we plugged in our headphones. I had one side in my ear and Jared had one side in his. Every time I would jump at something scary and almost wake Brennan up. We may have to come up with a new plan for that.

I have enjoyed this Valentine's Day more than any other. Not because of gifts, not because of chocolates (didn't even have one!) but because I got to spend it with my boys.

Hope you had a good one too!

My Boy.

The room is dimly lit.

And it's just us.

My arms are full and so is my heart,

His breathing slows and I know he is asleep.

I kiss his head and drink in his baby smell.

His eyes are tightly shut, but as he smiles, so do they.

The shouting of the dishes and the threats of the unfolded laundry try to drown out this moment.

This moment with me and my boy.

I think about my life five years ago.

How I would sit and think about where I was and find something lacking.

That feeling seems so foreign to me now.

I talk to him in his sleep.

I talk to him about his day.

I talk to him about his daddy.

I talk to him about his Father.

I tell him about the difference he has already made in my life.

3 months this week? It seems impossible.

But I know to savor this moment, because no matter when it ends, it will be too soon.

I pray for his sleep.

I pray for his waking hours, for his growth and for his knowledge that he is loved.

I pray for his future wife.

Mostly, I pray that God's presence will be strong in his life and that He will be a best friend to him.

I understand the begging place.

 I thank God for my boy.

For the breath he breathes and for the cry that he cries.

I thank God for the love he has from family and friends

even though he has never physically met many of them.

I thank God for my parents.

They never let me know how hard it is to see your heart walk outside your body.

They gave me confidence to trust in God.

They never let me feel unloved. Not for a second.

I spend a lot of time talking to God about my little boys daddy.

How thankful I am, how undeserving I feel

how blessed I am to be his wife.

I am overcome with joy.

A tear rolls down my face and falls onto his.

I don't wipe it off.

I want it to soak in.

I want him to soak in every ounce of blessedness that I feel.

I pray I never forget this feeling.

This moment.

Right now.