o wrong o wrong o :)

Picture it.

It's pitch black dark.

I'm four months pregnant and haven't gotten more than 6 hours sleep in 24 hours (which isn't good for my emotions. lol)

I have a head lamp on my head.

I am wearing amazing wool socks with my Timberland boots which I have had since ninth grade. These boots had not been around anything more rugged than boot cut jeans since my parents bought them.

I have a mountain climber's pack on my back full of sleeping bags and baked beans and I am ready to go.

Jared and I begin our trek into the Rimataka Mountains to Jared's family hut in the Orongorongo River Valley.

Many thoughts were going through my head. We had to park outside the park gates because they closed at 6 pm. As we walked the extra 2 km from the gate to the beginning of the trail, I thought...this kind of seems like the beginning of a news story that begins "An abandoned car was found outside the park gates and the passengers are believed to be lost in the mountains."

I laughed to myself...but then I...didn't.

This trip was one that Jared had been patiently waiting to take. We had wanted to go for a while but didn't have access to the keys or a free weekend to spend in the mountains. We knew that if we waited any longer, I would be too pregnant. I wouldn't be able to go for a while after the baby was born (at least until they are 5) and wanted to see what it was like before I took a child out there.

I say that to say that the following account was totally my choice. I am not crazy for going while pregnant...and there was no harm to my baby. I even checked it out with my medical people before going.

We walked in and saw many possums staring at us through the trees. Usually, I would never go into the woods at night but in New Zealand, there is nothing that will get you. I was so tired that I frequently asked to stop and rest. I didn't know how far we were from the hut or how long it was going to take to get there and the lack of rest mentioned before was starting to get to me about 45 minutes in. Being in the dark was a little disorienting and I wasn't expecting that. My favorite part of being in nature is being able to see nature. haha. It was interesting.

Towards the end of the trail, (after an emotional breakdown comparing the trail to labor and thinking I wasn't going to make it), we descended Jacob's Ladder. It is a zig zag descent to the river which must be crossed to get to the hut.

At this point, its gotten quite cold but after crossing the river, my fabulous wool socks warm up quickly even though they were wet. We were walking through the river valley so we had to cross several times where the shoal ended and went into the bank.

We headed for a slight V shape in the shadow of the river valley where we would head up to the hut.

At this point, we had been walking for three hours...we had crossed the river 5 times and we reach a bank where Jared says 'Ok...the hut is right up here.' I look up and see a bank that has to be climbed from the river to get to the hut.

Furious was not the appropriate word.

I got it together (not without complaining unfortunately) and hauled my pregnant self up the bank. Jared and I had switched flashlights so he could find the hut and on the way up the bank, I dropped mine. Jared ran down to get it and after convincing me not to spend the night right where I was, we got up to the hut.

We opened the shelters on the windows, Jared started a fire in the stove and I crawled into my sleeping bag and went to sleep instantly.

I don't remember anything until 8 a.m. the next morning when the sun was shining in the window and Jared had fixed me breakfast. He hands me a plate of baked beans and a toasted crumpet. It was the best thing I had ever eaten.

This is what I saw when I woke up :)

 It was gorgeous (even though the window was cloudy) and it made my day. After getting sleep, I really enjoyed myself!

 Leaving the hut. I had a million layers on and I am pregnant so I make no more excuses for looking pudgy. haha.

 We made it! Trauma really does bring you together! Ha. I want you to know two things...Jared Kyle is amazingly patient and I need sleep to be a nice person these days.

 Views down the river valley from the hut. This is before going down the goat track (cut by goats) to get off the cliff. This is the river valley we had walked down coming in the night before.

 If you look up in the trees you can see a solar panel. That is where the hut is. Through the trees is where we climbed to get there.

 Crossing the river last the night before means crossing the river first the next day and continuing the trail with wet feet. Again, thank the Lord for my wool socks! Descending Jacob's ladder last means ascending it first. One of the funniest things was when we crossed the bridge before Jacob's ladder and we saw a plaque we missed the night before. It said 'This plaque is dedicated to all of those who have died in the Orongorongo River Valley'. NOW you tell me. hahahaha.

 Beauty on the trail back.

Jared went ahead to get the car at the gate and pick me up at the beginning of the trail. Almost off the trail, these bulky guys with shirts that said 'Wellington Search and Rescue' come bounding in and I laughed to myself and thought 'Here I am boys. You're late! Where were you last night?!?!'

Finished the trail!

There is nothing particularly amusing about this post but it is honest. I was a pain. Jared had every reason to tell me I was never allowed to come back...and he didn't. I agreed that the hut was lovely and I would come back with our kids. I am actually really looking forward to it after the whole thing was said and done. BUT I vowed to never again go while pregnant and never walk in again at night.

The trip definitely brought Jared and I closer. I know I can trust him to make sure I am okay. Even when I make dumb choices or complain like a teenager.

The title of this post is how you pronounce then name of the river valley but it also represents my preconceived notions of how tough I thought I was and how much I thought my boundaries could be pushed these days. :)

We finished the trip with the traditional fish and chips and added a new tradition...

a wendy's frosty. :)

stunned mullet.

I got a haircut in a new country.

She said she had worked there for three years.

After she chop sueyed my hair, she said her haircuts were half-price because she was in her third year of training.

I had a mullet.

I hope that is the one and only time I have to get two haircuts in one day, even if I pay full price.

poppies

At exactly 6 a.m. we couldn't help but look up as two helicopters loudly passed overhead. It was early and very cold but droves of people walked silently to the cenotaph standing tall against the still blackened sky.

Getting as close as we could, the ceremony began.

We were welcomed by a woman minister from one of the local evangelical churches. Her strong accent and even tone made the solemn words that she spoke hang in the air waiting to be understood by those who have never made the kinds of sacrifices she described. 

Men of age mostly, who got up that morning and relived memories as they dressed in their black and red, were sprinkled throughout the crowd. Their heads held high except for an occasional dip to dry their eyes with a handkerchief.

The call came for a song to be sung. The one chosen is one of my favorites 'Eternal Father, Strong to Save'. In the stillness of the morning, it is quite a haunting melody.

One thing that was so comforting to me was hearing the presenters speak of God, pray to God and sing of God's saving grace that protects this land. It made me feel a little more at home and I enjoyed the fact that I could observe something that has been a favorite of my husband's for many years.

After asking wreaths to be placed on the cenotaph by various branches of service (including those who fought in the Vietnam war), the national anthem was sung. As my patriotic self, I felt the need to burst into song due to fact that I love New Zealand so very much. However, I refrained and listened to the crowd.

Jared bent down and said 'guns'. I was thankful for that warning as I was not tall enough to see that a gun salute was about to begin and would have dishonorably shrieked had I been taken by surprise.

As they dismissed us in prayer, the sun began to rise to our left and the dawn parade began down the main streets. Many people wore poppy lapel pins that they bought to support the RSA or Returned Services Association. My lovely husband bought one for both of us. :) 

After the service ended, many strolled to the cenotaph to place their poppies in honor of those lost.

We returned home and prepared for our crazy day ahead.

We grabbed a quick muffin and coffee at the Coffee House and headed to Wellington around 8:30. Because it was Jared's baptism birthday, it was his day to do whatever he wanted to do. We really enjoyed the trip down. My favorite part being a moment in time when you come around the corner and all you see is waves breaking against the rocks and a vast body of water. I love that!

We made our way to downtown Reading Cinemas to watch 'The Avengers' in 3D. AMAZING...I really liked it although it was much longer than we had planned for. Immediately afterward, we rushed to the Wellington Church building for a surprise party honoring one of our dearest friends, Mery Arulandu.

She was very surprised! It was a great day spent with friends and church family. We got to catch up and just enjoyed the company of everyone. After the party about 3 o'clock, Jared and I went downtown to explore. Jared and I had both wanted to see 'The Beehive' or the Parliament building up close. Being ANZAC day, it was super cool.

There were some statues that we of course had to emulate, even though Jared's was admittedly more ceremonial than mine.

As we turned the corner, we discovered the memorial dedicated to the RSA and the members of the Armed Forces.

Yeah...I teared up. Don't judge. lol.

After a really special and fun day, we headed back to Palmerston North. On the way home...

You know it. The perfect end to the perfect day. Frank's first ANZAC day was one to remember. :)

frosty.

If there is any one that has not given up on me and my blogging...I appreciate it.

Over the past two weeks I have had struggles with e coli, infections and a virus that made me wish for morning sickness only. I assumed that you would not want a daily update on that apart from the fact that I didn't move for three days. :)

My in-laws came this weekend and I never once saw them because I was asleep. Seriously? yep.

BUT I am feeling better and I am on the rise!!!

Other than that; Jared has been having to cook, do laundry, save people's teeth and make late(ish) night runs to the store for ginger beer (ginger ale). I am a little addicted to it because it makes me human again...but no worries...it's not alcoholic.

Before the sickness set in and in between doozy days, Jared took me to a Philipino cooking class at the Museum in town. It was really cool. We also went to a import store and found some interesting things. Pickled mud fish, fried grasshoppers...not something I would ever crave.

Pictures will come at some point soon.

The pregnancy dreams have been hilarious and crazy. Stung in the face by yellow jackets, being a character in the 'Walking Dead' and trying but failing to sneak into Makin' Music without being caught; fighting with a girl over a Frosty...yeah...that may have been real. jk.

I have wanted a Frosty from Wendy's for a long time. The closest Wendy's is a little more than an hour away. Last time we went to Wellington in mid March, we didn't end up going and so the craving has been incessant. I think it's just me and I blame it on Frank. haha. 

I emailed the company and told them, 'I just moved from America, I am expecting a baby and I am craving Wendy's. You must open a store in Palmerston North. Please!' haha.

I received an email from the company saying that they are opening a store in Palmerston North this year!!! I replied with...'I LOVE YOU!'

Is that inappropriate? hahaha.

Tomorrow is ANZAC day. ANZAC stands for Australia New Zealand Army Corps day. It is similar to our Veteran's Day. Jared and I are going to be at the square at 5:30 a.m. for the dawn parade. This day is incredibly special to Jared because he was baptized on ANZAC day. It also honors his grandfather who died in the battle of Gallipolli.

This is the national anthem of New Zealand in Maori and in English. It's quite haunting at the beginning...i love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF5xhKbAGSI

After the parade, we are heading to Wellington to celebrate his baptism birthday. We are going to watch 'The Avengers' which we have been eagerly anticipating and guess what's on the way? Wendy's!

It's a holiday and everything usually closes. Don't worry...I called ahead to make sure they were open. I am just trying to save Frank from the disappointment. haha.

In short, my life is sadly focused on chocolate soft serve. I will be quiet about Frosty's after tomorrow. Bear with me. :)

dream craving.

Jared rolled over to turn off his alarm and said "I don't want to get up." I drowsily responded with, "I want Wendy's!!"

Last night I was awakened by Jared. Apparently, I had been exhibiting symptoms of a nightmare. The ones I have had previously are pretty vivid. This one I had gone to get Chinese food and when I got there, I couldn't stand the smell. THEN I SAW IT...

A cinnamon empenada. It was gorgeous.

Much prettier than this one. :)

I sat in the line holding my nose and waiting for that empenada. When I got to the front of the line, the worker kept talking to me about a disease he got in Turkey and I said (very nasaly because I was still holding my nose)..."Look, I'm here for that empenada, but to pay your medical bills, throw in some sweet and sour chicken. Make it quick." Luckily, I got the LAST empenada.

I walked out to my car in the raining dark and as I got in, a stranger got in beside me and started taking pictures...due to the flash, I DROPPED THE EMPENADA.

At that point Jared woke me up. I was so mad about the empenada.

All you need to know I guess is that the second I step back into the States, I will be looking for Wendy's, McDonald's sausage biscuits, pinto beans and chow chow, crispy bacon, dill pickles AND a cinnamon empenada so WATCH OUT!!!

frankly...

Well if you haven't already heard...we're having a baby!!!

WOOHOO!!! We are totally surprised, super excited and ready to see how this goes for us.

It has been part of the reason that I have been so absent from blogging. I didn't know what else to say when I was trying to keep the secret.

By the way, I am terrible at keeping secrets. It seemed like every day Jared would come home and I would confess that I let it slip to someone else.

Jared had his Christmas presents 15 minutes after I got them in the mail. IN NOVEMBER!

At least I don't pretend to be good at it. Let me say this...if the secret is incredibly personal or someone else's business...no issue. I can keep those. It's just the ones that I am excited about!!

The most interesting part about finding out we are pregnant is finding out how the system works here.

There is only one prenatal ultrasound unless you pay the big bucks for them. You do not have an obstetrician unless you want to pay the big bucks for it.

Knowing that, my question is...okay...who delivers babies around this joint?!?!

Midwives. Sometimes midwives in the States are looked at as 'hippy' or 'alternative'. Here, they are the norm and are more medical than what I have heard from the stereotypes in the States. The one we chose is absolutely fantastic. She is from England and answers all of my anxious questions with ease and understanding. Love her!!!

Jared calls the baby Frank. In that case, let's hope its a boy. Even though we probably won't name it Frank, the explanation to a boy would be easier than an explanation of 'Frank' to a girl. :)

The best part is watching Jared tell people. When he told my parents, my dad danced and my mom cried and Jared chuckled. When he told Emma, she started crying...er...sobbing in the middle of the mall with people giving her very concerned looks. The picture I have in my head is priceless.

When he told his parents, we got mowed down by hugs. At least I could explain to his mom why I had been so sick when she was here and didn't take any medicine. I knew she had to be starting to worry about me.

At some point, I am hoping to put a video montage of the people we videoed when we told them. It's HILARIOUS.

Just writing to say...thanks for all of the wonderful comments and congratulations. I am so blessed and this baby is already so loved. I will be back to the blog consistently now...hopefully...probably.

I better be, because once this baby comes...it's probably not going to happen much!!

hasta la vista...

Jared made me watch Terminator Two...

and it scared me. :)

Did you know that James Cameron got the idea for Terminator when he had a dream about a machine like man coming out of a raging fire. freaky. I wonder if he had pickles or something before he went to sleep that night.

I promise that the Terminator is not the reason I have been absent from the blogosphere.

My mother in law has been staying with us while my father in law is in the Solomon Islands on a mission trip. He has had great success in that effort and feel free to keep that in your prayers.

I think I am going to update you by showing you pictures. I am going to post pictures of the house soon because it is finally finished, however with company and being out of town...i have to get it back in order before I snap photos and put them in cyber land.

Two weeks ago, Jared and I decided to go to the Farmer's Market that takes place weekly up the road. I thought I knew what to expect until I saw Purple Cauliflower, whole fish and very few people that spoke English. The vegetables were beautiful and the prices were even more beautiful. :) Grapes are usually $9.99 a kg and they had them for $3.99 a kg...i do believe I'll take that!!

There was a little old man with a beret playing his accordion while everyone was bustling around making a deal. He was so nice looking...until after I took this photo.

 

I had a hankering for something that tasted familiar. I made some buttermilk biscuits from scratch and we had breakfast for dinner Saturday night. Don't judge me...I just had biscuits. :)

I love the fact that people here play music all of the time. When you are around the square, you hear people playing and singing. At first, I would think people were yelling...and then I realize they are singing. A little boy in Wellington was playing the violin and was incredible!!! The last time I heard music on the square it was these young men who played a song that I loved. Listen to this...

                                                                  Love it my friends.

This weekend Jared had a conference in Wellington. He's ridden the train before (which I am jealous of) but since the conference lasted all weekend, we made a trip of it. We have great friends in Wellington. This time we stayed with Carl and Adeline. They are always so welcoming and we always have such a good time with them.

Friday morning we headed down. We got there around lunch time and stopped into Heavens pizza on Cuba Street. We ordered the Kiwi pizza. This was a pizza that had bacon, egg and cheese.

 In a word.. it was...interesting. Definitely not something that I would try again. Walking down Cuba Street and window shopping a bit, and it was time for Jared to walk to his conference.

This was my cue to head to Te Papa. Te Papa means 'our place' and is the National Museum of New Zealand.

I had about 4 and a half hours here and I needed every moment of it. The museum is free but there is a charge for an exhibit called 'Unveiled: Wedding Fashion throughout the Centuries'. The exhibit is on loan from the Royal Museum of London but I didn't make it that far.

As I sat at a cafe taking a break, I was joined by an American girl and a Frenchman at the counter. They were obviously on a date. Their conversation included the fact that she was depressed that New Zealand didn't actually have hobbits and that his religion revolved around the five demon days (which I know to be Ancient Egyptian in origin...thanks history teaching job). Random.

My favorite part of the conversation was this. When she continued talking about there being no hobbits, he said in a thick French accent, 'Well, at least there are a lot of sheeps!' And she said...'Yeah! Ships are nice!'

I almost fell off of my bar stool. I even pretended to look at a book on fashion while listening. Judge me if you will.

At Te Papa, there are many exhibits on the islands and geographical make up of New Zealand. Due to the Christchurch quakes and other quakes they have had before, they have an entire area devoted to earthquakes.

I experienced my first earthquake the other night. I was lying on the couch and it felt like Jared was behind the couch, shaking it as hard as he could. Nothing fell and it was over in a matter of seconds, but it was eerie none the less. So as I entered into this exhibit...I was a tad afraid.

They should have added 'the earth quake experience is when the exhibit you are in starts shaking and can be distressing.'

For example. I was sitting down while taking this video. The tv is a fixed object in the room. The shaking is real and symbolizes the way an earthquake in 1987 shook a New Zealand town. The light flash in the corner is from me trying catch myself and keep from falling off the seat. Enjoy!

We spent Saturday and Sunday with the church and going to Porirua services. Between services, Jared took me out to see where he grew up. There is a man renting his parents house that they still own and he works on the Lord of the Rings. He was quite short but I don't think I found a hobbit. :)

There was also a little boy playing outside at the other house Jared used to live in. Jared got to talk to him for a bit and tell him that he used to live there when he was a boy. That was really cool. We drove around Scorching Bay and up the Oriental Parade...it was beautiful. They say that 'You can't beat Wellington on a sunny day'. We had fun but we were glad to be home!!

I hope that you have had a great few weeks! Thanks for reading my blog...even though sometimes it's a little time in between posts!

em-ma

I think I am a magnet for people named Emma.

My sister in law is named Emma and yes, she is quite awesome. She is starting her law career in Brisbane, Australia; dresses like a super model and does Bikrim yoga in 115 degree rooms. She rocks.

I got to talk with her last night and that just compounded the thinking about another Emma that I have been doing.

Emma Featherston

I don't know why, but Mrs. Emma loved me. Mrs. Emma loved everybody. Everybody loved Mrs. Emma.

My earliest memory of her was going to her house to visit. She lived on a road I could never remember the name of, but I always knew that was Mrs. Emma's road.

Mrs. Emma liked for everyone to call her 'Em-ma'. It added pizazz...not that she needed any!

Mrs. Emma liked to sing. Hers was a very musical family in the first place and music and happiness seemed to follow her everywhere that she went.

Mrs. Emma made the best jalapeno cornbread...only she christened it with the name 'Hallelujah!' Cornbread. I desperately wish I had her recipe.

I grew up and went to college. I didn't get to see Em-ma a lot. I knew we were both growing older and my life quickly got so busy, so I never thought to take time to visit when I was home.

This summer, I went to visit Mrs. Emma in Crossville. She didn't live on 'Mrs. Emma's Road' anymore. She lived in a nursing home in the middle of town.

I had mentioned Mrs. Emma several times to Jared and I knew that he had to meet her. She was always trying to set me up with her grandson so I had to make sure she knew that I got a good one! She whole-heartedly approved and gave him some sage advice on how to treat a woman like me. lol. When we went to visit, we took our wedding invitation to her. She promised that if she was well enough she would be there. She asked me about letters that she had sent me when I went to Freed-Hardeman. She asked me if I remembered the verses that she wrote.

I tried very hard but could barely recall the letters even being received, having been so wrapped up in myself. It had been 5 years so maybe that would count for something.

I knew she had sent us an engagement card. In it, she apologized for her handwriting claiming that it was "strokey" but still as always concluded with the effervescent...'Love...Em-ma'

I felt that I would give anything to see those letters...to be able to recall the verses that she wrote to me of encouragement and wisdom.

She came to the wedding.

After the 'big kiss', Jared and I walked into our new life.

As a simple knee-jerk reaction, the moment I spotted Mrs. Emma by the door, I let go of Jared's hand, gave her a big hug and leaned down to kiss her cheek. I was so ecstatic to see her and I didn't know if she was going to get to come or not.

She hugged me tight and whispered...'you look beautiful!'

When she came through the receiving line, I leaned down and hugged her tightly. I was so honored that she had made the effort to be there. She handed us an envelope and told us not to open it until the next day. When we did, it was full of wisdom and loving words from her heart to ours.

That was the last time I got to see her.

Three days before we left to come to New Zealand, Mrs. Em-ma achieved her life long goal. She got to go home!! She got to join in with the magnificent singing and I guarantee you, her voice added to the glory.

But I have never felt the total mix of happiness and sadness so deeply at the same time.

I found a letter a few days after I got to New Zealand.

It was the one she had asked me about. The one she wrote me when I was at college. It was in my Bible.

We left the 9th of January 2012 and it was dated January 8th 2004.

It said:

Hi Rachel

You are a most special and strong Christian young lady. I admire you for your strong desire to do the things that are pleasing in His sight. God Bless You.

I love you.

Emma (alias Em-ma)

P.S. Good luck at Freed-Hardeman!

At the bottom of the letter were the verses she had mentioned.

Ecclesiastes 12:1

Psalm 146:5

Philippians 4:19

Look them up. They are pretty awesome. I didn't pay much attention to them when I received the letters in college, but don't you know...now that I am around the world, those words comfort me more than she ever would have thought. 

'Remember also your Creator in the days of thy youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near where you will say 'I have no delight in them'.

'How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God.' 

'And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Jesus Christ.'

Someone asked me recently who my greatest Christian influence has been. It seemed almost like an illogical question. I was born into a strong Christian family, blessed with strong Christian friends...everyone influenced me! But if I had to pick one...it was her.

She was always a quiet steady force reminding me that I could do it if I kept my faith in God and followed His desires for my life. Her constant encouragement means the world to me now. I see the pay off of kind words, even though they may be forgotten for a while, they will influence long after we go home to our reward.

Tell someone a few encouraging words and that God loves them. It would make Em-ma proud. :)

chocolate fish

it's 9 pm.

Jared went back into work for a bit to get things ready for the bus.

I am in bed.

I am drinking a mug of hot Choysa Tea. amazed.

I am fighting the ever present battle of keep Gizmo off the bed as his fur likes to make me yell 'Unclean!!' when I look at our freshly washed white sheets.

I am eating chocolate fish.

What are chocolate fish you may ask?

They are fish shaped marshmallows covered in chocolate.

Pretty self explanatory I guess.

I am teaching the 3 to 7 year old Bible class on Sunday and talking about Jesus cooking fish for his disciples. We usually try to provide a snack for them and of course my first thought was 'GOLDFISH CRACKERS!!'

They don't make those here. (which is depression worthy within itself)

So plan B...I decided to go with Chocolate fish. 

There is nothing like a three year old on a sugar high returning to their parents right? :) Getting to the point, i bought them for Bible class today and it seems like every time I pass the pantry I think 'This would be the perfect moment for a chocolate fish!' Pour a cuppa tea...you know what goes good with hot tea? Chocolate fish!!!'

It's a deadly struggle with a lesson learned...don't buy candy for class before Sunday :)

[side note: enough chocolate fish remain for the kiddos...I simply ate the ones who were broken enough. I put them out of their misery okay?]

we beat kim.

Jared and I were married 6 months on Monday.


I was so excited that I told Jared 'Happy 6 Months!' ad nauseam I am sure.


With Hollywood celebrities such as Ms. Kardashian, I guess making it that long is something to celebrate. However, I wasn't excited because we 'made it' that long...I was excited about what the past six months have made us.


In our first six months of marriage:

We sold most of our belongings.
We packed our most precious possessions onto two pallets and gave them to strangers.
We left part of our family.
We joined with partly new families.
We relied on the kindness of others and the grace of God.
We prayed that doors would be opened, and they were.

We learned that some things are just stuff.
We learned new strengths (and weaknesses).
We relied on each other more than ever before.

We started our life in a beautiful home.

We are learning to cook healthy, interesting meals.

We are learning how to drive and how to teach someone to drive on NZ roads. :)

We are learning how to work together and appreciate each others careers.

We are learning how to be honest with each other and ourselves.

We are learning the value of trade me (NZ ebay).
We are learning how to be thankful for every moment.

We are learning how to lean on God.

We are happier together than we have ever been apart.

HAPPY 6 MONTHS!

There...that's the last time I'll say it...promise :)

the little green man

What is faith?

Who defines faith?

Are faith and trust the same thing?

I have been thinking about these questions for a long time. 

I have thought about faith more in the last two months than ever before.

People question what faith is, how we show it, why we should have faith in God.

I notice people around me who struggle to put their faith in God because they seem to find him unworthy to take care of their lives.

I also see these same people putting their faith into everyday things because they can see them, touch them, feel them, hear them and possess them.

And I am one of those people.

As I have been crossing many streets, with cars coming from any and all directions, I have realized something.

I put a whole lot of faith in a little green man.

 

No...not this one.

                                                                        This one.

Do you realize how much faith I have to have in a computer that tells me it is safe to step out onto a thoroughfare where tons of hurtling steel  could squash me at any moment? What if the computer failed? What if a human driver wasn't watching and ran a light?

To step out...to have that kind of faith in something man made...is quite amazing.

As I look around me in the city center, I see people constantly taking a leap of faith and stepping out to what could be their end. They have faith that these man made computers are going to tell them when it is safe to journey on. And as I people watch, I am painfully aware that many of these humans do not have faith in God.

What is so hard about it?

If they can risk their life with the faith that the electronic green man ensures their safety, why do they not think God can take care of them?

What do I have faith in on a day to day basis?

I have faith that my car will start...until it doesn't.

I have faith that the computer running the stoplights is working...until it messes up.

I have faith that my lights will come on when I flip the switch...until a bulb goes out.

I have faith that the men will pick up our trash when I leave it by the road...until they skip our house.

I have faith in God...until...

With God, there is no UNTIL... He simply doesn't stop taking care of us. 

Why is it so hard to have faith? God assures us that we will be safe. He tells us in His Word that He will provide. That He will take care.

Is it because we can't see Him?

Is it because we can't actually hear His voice?

or is it because we are afraid that if we took time to stop making excuses and just have faith, our life would be less dramatic and interesting.

Before we moved here, people always asked me...'How can you pick up your entire life and move to another country?'

I wanted to tell them that I was terrified but that I was sure I wanted to be with Jared forever and wherever he went I would go. I wanted to tell them anything that would assure them that I had faith. But I never told them that...'because of my faith in God, I can go. Because of my faith that He will provide for us, He will take care of our families, He will increase any seed that we happen to sow. I have faith not in myself, and not even in Jared but in the One who brought us together. I can go to a new country for the same reason you can wake up every morning...because I have faith in One who is higher than I.'

If you would have told me at the age of 12 that I would live in New Zealand, a kajillion miles away from anything and everything I ever knew. I would have told you to get a check up from the neck up.

I didn't know faith.

I was so wrapped up in friends, family, traditions and expectations that I would have never given up my dream of being with my family to realize the dream of faith that I am living now.

If you would have told me the same thing at 19, I might have considered your words. But I would have demanded that the realization of this dream be in my time and on my schedule.

I didn't know faith.

After selling stuff and moving as far across the Earth as I can, Faith and I are finally getting acquainted.

Faith and I are going to be best friends if it is the last thing I do. God has so intricately woven Himself into my life story and seeing that, how can I not trust Him?

Stop reading this and thank God for all of the ways that He has shown you that you can trust in Him. The really sneaky ones that you never considered. The ways that turned your world upside down and gave you renewed perspective. Thank him for those dreams that you didn't accomplish so that bigger and better dreams could be realized. Simply, thank Him for being a God that we can have faith in. A God that so immensely worthy to be trusted and loved.

full clearance.

Saturday, Jared and I had the privilege of being involved in some community service on the Highbury side of town.

Highbury has some of the best bakeries and fish and chips shops but is also home to 'The Mongrel Mob' as well as being a low income part of town.

Jared's surgery has a bus that you have heard me mention before as he takes it to Foxton on Tuesdays. As often as they can, they take the bus to Highbury and set up a free dental clinic.

This Saturday, it was our turn to be the dentist and the assistant.

NERVOUS.

The only reason I was nervous really is because I didn't know how to use any of the equipment on the bus. I knew that we would need the sterilizer to be going constantly and I didn't even know how to turn it on. :) Jared's boss and his wife had worked the morning shift and we were to take the afternoon.

When we arrived around 12:30, we met Pearl. She is a Maori lady from the Highbury community that sits as the receptionist. The reception area is a small room with a kitchen and a bathroom. On Friday nights, it is where a group of Maori ladies get together to weave korowai cloaks. The korowai are an ancient tradition of the Maori and you are honored to get one. There are many feathers of indigenous birds that are woven into the cloak. When dignitaries come to New Zealand, they are given one.

             This is the one I gave Prince William when he came to dinner last week. haha.

Pearl welcomed us with open arms and made us feel instantly at home. We secured all of our valuables (keeping my wedding rings and cell phone on my person at all times) and headed to the bus. The last patient of the morning wasn't finished yet so I hopped on the bus to see where, how and when everything was done.

This photo was taken after the day was done but it will give you and idea of how the bus is set up. Jared sits on the stool that you can see and I sit on the stool behind the chair and to the right.

An assistant that usually works with Jared was on standby so that I could observe her in the first few cases. She had to leave by 2, so I knew I would have to take it by myself after a few rounds.

Luckily for me, the hygienist that I had worked with in the previous week was also on the bus. She, along with Jared, were the ones who started it and keep it going. She was telling me about the patients of the day so far. One woman had come in with a face that was absolutely swollen. She had been to the hospital and taken antibiotics three times with no change. Another lady, Pearl's daughter, had been in prison and just gotten out. She required 8 fillings as her teeth in the front were in pretty bad shape.

The first patient we got in was a filling. She had been having a lot of pain in her tooth and it had a hole in it. It wasn't bad enough that it needed to come out though.

The second patient was a large Maori gent covered in tattoos. He came in saying that his back teeth were hurting and once Jared looked and took an xray, there was no doubt that they would have to come out. Jared numbed him up and sent him back to the waiting room. When he came back (after we had put another patient through), Jared began the process of extraction. This guys mouth was so inflamed that the local wouldn't cover the pain. I got extremely queasy because of the amount of blood and pain that this guy was in. Seeing that the local wasn't going to do it, Jared decided that he wasn't going to do anything until the inflammation went down. Jared prescribed him some antibiotics and told him to get in at Carpenter's under a WINZ quote. WINZ stands for Work Income New Zealand.We found out later that the reason his mouth was so inflamed is because he had tried to take the teeth out by himself using pliers.

My first case to be the assistant was the patient in between the two above cases. She was a nice Maori lady in her 40s. When she came in, I noticed that she didn't really open her mouth wide to talk. As soon as she got into the chair, I found out why. She opened so that Jared could assess the situation. Her upper jaw was a mass of decay. She had two full teeth left in the front that were eaten through. The rest of her teeth were broken or simply stumps of root. Jared offered her full clearance. This means that he was going to take all of her teeth out on the top. She would be able to get a denture through WINZ but she could not continue in this condition. She agreed and the process began.

Remember when I got queasy because of the first guy? Well this one was a doozy. I knew that I wasn't the one in the chair and they didn't need a nurse passing out on them so I sat strongly and held my breath behind my mask. I just kept saying to myself, 'Why do all these people drink so much red kool-aid?' and 'oh well...it's just red kool-aid'. Anything to keep myself the assistant instead of the patient.

In the end, Jared took out twelve...teeth...I guess you could call them that. It was more like two teeth and ten roots. She had local and didn't even wince when it was being done. She had been in pain for some time and you could see the relief on her face to have them out..

One of my favorite patients of the day was a lady named Janine. Janine was pregnant and was absolutely terrified of the dentist. Because of that fear, she had avoided the dentist for a long time but couldn't wait any longer. When she told us about her tooth pain, Jared discovered a large hole in one of her molars. He told her it would have to come out. She freaked a bit.

She said that she had hyperventilated at the dentist once before and whoever it was told her that they would not work on her. She thought maybe she would go to the hospital and get treatment with good drugs instead of letting Jared take it out.

This was a new experience for me as well to see Jared working with the public. To see these people coming in terrible pain and he assures them that they are going to be okay. Jared told her that if she went to the hospital, she wouldn't receive anything but antibiotics and that wouldn't help her situation.

She decided to let him use local and take it out. When she got the local injection. she said she didn't even feel the needle (cringe at the thought). She went out into the waiting room and came in later on. She ended up being our last patient of the day. She came in more nervous than before and I assured her that I would hold her hand if she needed me to. I told her that I was proud of her for getting this far and if any dentist would take care of her, it would be my husband.

(I also had to let her know that he was my husband and that he didn't call all of his assistants 'babe' :)

Jared got the tooth out without her feeling a thing. She was so proud that she didn't have that decay in her mouth anymore and that she had been so strong. What this picture doesn't show is the ginormous hole in the other side.

The best part of the day was as we were cleaning up. These patients and their families come by the bus door and say 'Thank You!' and 'Aren't you proud of me?' and 'We love you!'

It truly was an awesome experience and I can't wait to do it again.

Made in Indonesia.

My brother almost got me deported.

Okay Okay. It was me. I was the one who brought in bamboo and straw. two absolutely illegal items.

We got our shipment from the USA yesterday! When I opened the boxes, everything smelled like our old apartment. It made me a little sad since our house here doesn't have the same smell. Even though both are pleasant smells (just in case you were wondering).

Even though getting the shipment was awesome...it is quite a tale in how we did it.

First thing in the morning, Jared's boss calls and asks me to come in as an assistant because they were short staffed. I got ready and headed into work with Jared. I got to work with a hygienist for the day. She is a very nice lady and took it easy on me.

We set up the room and got ready for the first patient. Looking on her patient list, we had a lot of 45's. This means that there is 45 minutes scheduled for their cleaning because they haven't been before or haven't been recently. Some of those didn't show up but the ones that did were interesting. I never would have thought that I could enjoy suctioning blood and saliva from people's mouths. The only part of being a dental assistant that I am not fond of is the quickness with which you have to prepare the surgery for the next patient. You literally have 3 minutes to wipe down everything, breakdown instruments and take them to be sterilized, set up tray and instruments for the next patient and be back to welcome the patient and get them ready. Fun...but nerve wracking.

I also learned of a radio commercial that says 'Jared's back! Jared's back!' and advertises Jared's dental services. Pretty awesome.

The night before, we received confirmation that our shipment would be here. We had to pick it up and have it back to the house by 2:30 so that it could be inspected by the Ministry of Agriculture and Forestry (MAF) Biosecurity agent. I had planned on getting Ian's Jimny and trailer to go get the stuff in the morning and have time to unload it at the house before the MAF agent came.

When I had to go in to assist last minute, that complicated things.

At one o'clock, Jared left with the trailer to go pick up our stuff from the carriers while I finished up my last patient. I must acknowledge that at 12:51 it started pouring the rain. Jared met me in the parking lot and we transferred the stuff to the Jimny. Due to the size of the trailer, we were only able to get one pallet at a time.

I had exactly ONE hour to drive home and unload the pallet (in the rain), break the pallet down in order to get it out of the trailer, unhitch the trailer and back the car to it, find my way to the carriers, load the remaining part of the shipment and get it inside...in torrential rains.

I did it in 45 minutes. because I freaked out and went into speedy gonzales mode.

A funny side note, I backed the trailer into the street and got down on the ground to hook up the lights and chain...and...the garbage people came to pick up the trash. Which I was parked directly in front of and not to mention, I was laying on the ground...in the rain. Those people are going to hate me after all of the things that I have put them through. :)

I got everything in without it becoming totally drenched and took a break on the couch. As I was watching a Rachael Ray special about breast cancer and bawling my eyes out, a guy from church came by to drop something for Jared. So he saw my house was crazy messy, im sitting on the couch with my cat and tears were rolling down my face. haha. All I could do was laugh about it.

In about an hour after that, I had my TOMS from Christmas delivered; a visit and wedding present from some great friends; and the MAF agent came to inspect our stuff.

We had put all of our wooden items into one box so that we could declare them together and find them easily.

A few years ago my brother and sister-in-law brought me some wind chimes as a souvenir from Jamaica. I absolutely love them. I have had them in my classroom but I knew that I would want them here because the wind is always up so they would play some great music.

When the agent saw them, he said 'Oh no. no. those won't be allowed. Did you know bamboo is prohibited? Did you know straw is forbidden? Where did you get these?'

MY STRESS LEVEL RISING.

The next moment, in a stroke of luck...they had a sticker that said 'Made in Indonesia'. I don't know what it was about that but apparently that made everything okay because (after smelling the wood and) seeing the sticker, he said 'Oh. Nevermind, you are all good. Cheers.'

What a day.

It feels so good to finally have some familiar stuff. I sold most of what I didn't need so the things that we actually shipped are things that mean to most to us. It's exciting being able to display your favorite things. Even though 'stuff' is not the most important thing...it sure makes a difference when you are so far from everything you are used to.

I haven't mentioned this lately...but I am absolutely stoked to be here. I get a reality check every now and then and realize how immensely blessed I am.

I love my family and can't wait to have them in my house in the future! I am going to keep those wind chimes until forever!!

Cheers!

Sara.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8AshaJQTIk&context=C3a69907ADOEgsToPDskL0AS2Wyh3K0ugdddCSns3D

please watch this.